Tomorrow I’m seeing my siblings for the last time before I go to New York and it’s now hitting me that I won’t be able to see them or hug them for months maybe even over a year. It’s heartbreaking to me. If I’m antisocial tomorrow that is why. And I’m going to be a wreck. My sister is my best friend and I won’t be able to kiss her wounds or wipe her tears or hug her or read her books or tuck her in for bed or take her to play at the park for a really long time. Just thinking about it is making me feel sick.
*secretly having a mental breakdown because nothing is going right and all motivation is lost* :)
For anyone who knows me personally or cares, Wednesday I’m moving to New York. I’ve been abused my whole life and I’ve always done things for others and this is the first thing I’ve ever done for myself. My roommate over the course of time that I’ve lived with them has been very mean for the most part and has made me her personal cleaning/work bitch for as long as I’ve lived there. Nothing was ever good enough no matter how much I did. And beginning of September she gave me one month to find a job or a new place to live I had until October third to find a place so I applied for over 40 places to work and went to around 10 interviews and then at the beginning of this week she flat out said she wanted me gone the deal is off get out. I was told I resemble my biological mother and was no longer wanted there. I don’t have parents that are supportive and I had only one option to live at which is New York. So I’ve gotten rid of almost everything I own because I can’t afford to send my belongings there. And Wednesday I will be flying to New York where I have a friend who is willing to give me a chance and accepts me for who I am and my past and who my family is. It’s going to be a huge change, but sometimes we have to make sacrifices in life to get good things. This is what I believe is going to be the best place I’ve ever lived. With someone who actually wants me there. So, here’s to a new life! I will be back this isn’t a permanent move, but it’s a big one.